Two southern girls from Georgia were sitting on
their front porch one
evening. One girl had just arrived back from New
York and she was
telling her girlfriend about some of the sites
she had seen in the big
city.
In a heavy southern drawl, she says, "You know,
they have women up
there who have sex with other women."
In a whispered voice, her friend replies, "Oh,
my! What do they call
them?"
"They call them lesbians.
"And there's men who have sex with other men,"
says the women. "They
call them homosexuals." Then, she pauses, lowers
her voice even more
and says, "And, they have these men up there that
will put their face
in a woman's privates and kiss and lick all
around..."
"Do tell!" gasps her friend, "What do they call
them?"
"Heck if I know, I just patted him on the head
and called him
Precious."
********
My younger sister was having one of her first
gynelogical appointments
and she had some questions for the doctor.
"Doctor" she asked, "I can't ask my parents, They
would kill me but my
boyfreind wants to have anal sex.
I don't know what to tell him, I mean I don't
know anything about it.
Can I get pregnant?"
The kindly old doctor smiled whimsicaly and
replied "Of couse, you can
my dear.
Where do you think lawyers come from?"
********
"Sex is like riding a bicycle. Your legs start to hurt and if you're not careful you can get scratched up really bad and you have to go in for stitches...Oh, sorry -- sex with a badger is like riding a bicycle."
********
"Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos ... you
never know what's going to burn your ass."
their front porch one
evening. One girl had just arrived back from New
York and she was
telling her girlfriend about some of the sites
she had seen in the big
city.
In a heavy southern drawl, she says, "You know,
they have women up
there who have sex with other women."
In a whispered voice, her friend replies, "Oh,
my! What do they call
them?"
"They call them lesbians.
"And there's men who have sex with other men,"
says the women. "They
call them homosexuals." Then, she pauses, lowers
her voice even more
and says, "And, they have these men up there that
will put their face
in a woman's privates and kiss and lick all
around..."
"Do tell!" gasps her friend, "What do they call
them?"
"Heck if I know, I just patted him on the head
and called him
Precious."
********
My younger sister was having one of her first
gynelogical appointments
and she had some questions for the doctor.
"Doctor" she asked, "I can't ask my parents, They
would kill me but my
boyfreind wants to have anal sex.
I don't know what to tell him, I mean I don't
know anything about it.
Can I get pregnant?"
The kindly old doctor smiled whimsicaly and
replied "Of couse, you can
my dear.
Where do you think lawyers come from?"
********
"Sex is like riding a bicycle. Your legs start to hurt and if you're not careful you can get scratched up really bad and you have to go in for stitches...Oh, sorry -- sex with a badger is like riding a bicycle."
********
"Life isn't like a box of chocolates, it's more like a jar of jalapenos ... you
never know what's going to burn your ass."