Once while walking alone along the deserted shoreline of a local suburban beach one dull and humble evening, feeling sorry for myself as it had become my custom to do, i reflected on the one conversation that had begun the onslaught of much bigger things.
It was a summer day if i am not mistaken, and the dusk was just beginning to fall. As was our custom, we were sitting on the beach with a quiet beer, discussing all things meaningful and otherwise, when she turned to me and quite simply asked:
How much do you love me?
I thought about how best to answer her, as her pale green eyes scrutinised every inch of my face for some tell-tale sign of lying or betrayal. I wanted to give her something tangible, something that would illustrate that nothing meant more to me than her - that she was my center, indeed my very life... Were she to have died that moment, there in my arms, i would have died with her - this i wanted her not only to know, but feel and understand. She was everything to me, and life was nothing but a stagnant pool of drowned dreams and dried-out reality.
I thought for about 15 minutes, and she was quite content to just sit in anticipatory silence and wait, watching as the waves rolled in one by one, and then subsuded quickly as they had arrived.
Finally, i turned to her and said:
"$112.37"
She looked at me in confusion and asked me if that was all she meant to me - nothing more than a number, a price? Was she nothing more than a doll to be looked upon; a trophy lover; someone to be kept upon the shelf??
And before i knew what had happened, she was gone, and i didn't see her for a long while after that...
Years later i bumped into her at the beach again... i almost never returned to that beach since that disasterous conversation took place for it hurt too much to think that i had lost the one thing that meant so much to me, simply because i lacked the eloquence to speak in simple terms.
She and i talked for a few minutes about the weather and University, and all the other banalities of life, when she turned to me and asked what i'd meant all those years ago.
I sighed and looked out to the water. I took a deep breath, and then stated quite simply:
"What i meant was that you meant everything to me, more than life itself, and i would have given everything i had for you..."
"Why then the the price? Why put a figure on such a powerful love?" She interjected
"It was not that i was placing a price or figure on my love for you - it's just that at that time, that was all i had to my name. The sum of my life's material achievements was $112.37..."
She looked at me in disbelief... all i could do was walk away in silence, wiping the tears from my eyes...
It was a summer day if i am not mistaken, and the dusk was just beginning to fall. As was our custom, we were sitting on the beach with a quiet beer, discussing all things meaningful and otherwise, when she turned to me and quite simply asked:
How much do you love me?
I thought about how best to answer her, as her pale green eyes scrutinised every inch of my face for some tell-tale sign of lying or betrayal. I wanted to give her something tangible, something that would illustrate that nothing meant more to me than her - that she was my center, indeed my very life... Were she to have died that moment, there in my arms, i would have died with her - this i wanted her not only to know, but feel and understand. She was everything to me, and life was nothing but a stagnant pool of drowned dreams and dried-out reality.
I thought for about 15 minutes, and she was quite content to just sit in anticipatory silence and wait, watching as the waves rolled in one by one, and then subsuded quickly as they had arrived.
Finally, i turned to her and said:
"$112.37"
She looked at me in confusion and asked me if that was all she meant to me - nothing more than a number, a price? Was she nothing more than a doll to be looked upon; a trophy lover; someone to be kept upon the shelf??
And before i knew what had happened, she was gone, and i didn't see her for a long while after that...
Years later i bumped into her at the beach again... i almost never returned to that beach since that disasterous conversation took place for it hurt too much to think that i had lost the one thing that meant so much to me, simply because i lacked the eloquence to speak in simple terms.
She and i talked for a few minutes about the weather and University, and all the other banalities of life, when she turned to me and asked what i'd meant all those years ago.
I sighed and looked out to the water. I took a deep breath, and then stated quite simply:
"What i meant was that you meant everything to me, more than life itself, and i would have given everything i had for you..."
"Why then the the price? Why put a figure on such a powerful love?" She interjected
"It was not that i was placing a price or figure on my love for you - it's just that at that time, that was all i had to my name. The sum of my life's material achievements was $112.37..."
She looked at me in disbelief... all i could do was walk away in silence, wiping the tears from my eyes...
