I'm a decent person. In real life people respect me. I got a decent job and all that. I hope to keep this up for another 50 years so when I'm 80 and start stealing from my family and doing heroin, it'll throw everyone the fuck off.
So I assume pulling hair is illegal in ufc. What about pulling your opponets ear, or mashing their nose in with your hand? Pinching? Can you bend their fingers back til they break?