Rocky Dennis a.k.a. Deep Thought

This here is me and Gar. He is really cool and likes my mom a lot. He comes over a lot when he is horny. He gives my mom neat colored pills.

This one is me getting my High School diploma. A lot of people said I should have gotten the 'Ugliest Mother Fucker in School' award. Mean people suck.

This here is my pal Dozer. He is pretty much a dumbass, but fights all my battles for me. My mom says if I get punched in the head it will snap my neck like a 'fucking twig'. Mom knows best, when she's not blasted or getting the wood laid to her by Gar and Dozer.

This is when that stupid son-of-a-bitch, Ben gave me a Rube Walker card for a worthless Steve Garvey. He flaked on the Europe trip because he said I would look real stupid in a huge motorcycle helmet and chicks wouldn't look at him.

This is my lovely Diana. She is blind and can't see at all. I told her that the marshmallows feel like clouds and tried to get in her pants. Didn't happen. She said that my head was the biggest goddamn thing she had ever felt, but loved me since she couldn't see it.

Mom brought this clownface home once but he looked at me and about shit himself and said something like 'Holy fuck I just forgot there was something I gotta do!" He split like a fat man's pants.

Here is the pic of me and Diana. That isn't really an ocean behind us, it's a backdrop. Diana said we shouldn't go to the real ocean because if I fell in my head would go straight to the bottom and she wouldn't be able to find me.

This was the ultimate fucking teaser. Looked in that goddamn circus mirror and about shit my own pants. I still looked like a friggin retard, but a little bit smaller gourd:

This is Dozer again, he said he wasn't opening his eyes because he was baked, but someone else said he couldn't stand my 'ugly fucking mug' any more and wished I would go hang out with kids my own age instead of wearing denim biker gear and pretending to be something I am not.

Ben again. One of the stupidest sons of bitches alive. He makes that fucking Forrest Gump look like an Ivy Leaguer. fucking numbskull. I mean LOOK at the guy. Just plain stupid.

This is the black woman my mom bought to have sex with me. She said something like "Damn, I wouldn't fuck you with yo momma's pussy, LAAAAAATE!!". She had a soda and left.

Gar went ahead and fucked her for me. He told me about it and said I could smell his fingers. He rocks!!

"See, it's really not a mask you dumb mother fucker." He knew it wouldn't come off. I blasted that guy's ass in a game of smear the queer. Fucking preppies.

First day at the new school. Kids were like "Holy fucking shit!! Is that big headed son of a bitch going here?" Hurt a little bit, then I heard a lot of them utter how they would still fuck my mom, so I felt a little better.

I took it out on all the mother fuckers when it came time for bumper cars. I may be an ugly fucker, but I can drive those things like nobody's business. I served out at least 2 whiplash cases that day. One to Ben and another to some fat kid.

This was right before Grandpa gave me tickets to the Dodger game. He gave me a cool new hat too. It sits nicely on the tippy top of my head. Game was cool, we won, but some A-hole behind us kept throwing peanuts at my head.

I turned around and gave him this blank look:

His response was EPIC, SCOREBOARD ROCK MAN!!

After that moral victory, I decided to go get some pussy. I told her I felt sick and she needed to check me for a fever.

Scoreboard, bitches!! Don't think the Rockmeister didn't grab for a little titty after that shot was taken. I told her my crank had the same problem as my big assed head, and she bought it.