What you guys think about this verse?

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Oct 27, 2007
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#1
Bombarded til our hearts are rock hardened
Endless sense senation sanctioning the stock market
Watch guard it cuz it's sacred and it's sought ardent
We've gone far from the start prominant thought artists
Across darkness parts of the star mixed with mental alert
A ta the G ta the Z i'm all that resembles the earth
Musical notes in the tones of ohm that resettle the dirt
So hot if it's even close the densest medal gets burnt
By my el ray beams shinein well train de-
livery maps of scales of a fail safe dream
Under nail vain seeped in detail way deep
Is the sound that surrounds you it's L.A.C.
My name well it's Greenz and i'm just visitin here
From up for a couple months smuggled a bug that'll get in yer ear
Could subtle interrupt divisions up front that sit in the rear
Ta shift into gear in addition ta dispositions of fear
Citizins nearing all about and close ta home
Like a rouge alone overtones mix with soul fer sho
Beyonding coast ta coast the whole worlds an open road
For LAC and Aaron Greenz that's me don't chya know
 
Oct 3, 2005
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#3
i actually kinda like it, it would be interesting to actually hear it on a track. i like your choice of words, good vocabulary. some won't like it cuz they can't understand it, but simple minds seldom appreciate complex shit beyond face value.
 
Feb 15, 2003
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#5
honestly...

it had good wordplay.. but lack of content...

what i mean by that, is you was busting hella rhymes but not really getting a message across....

still i see a lot of potential in that...

i aint one to knock anybody...

keep doing your thing