Anyone else here suffer from depression...etc

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Jan 5, 2006
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#3
Don't know if this is the right place for this kind of shit or not, but I was wondering if anyone else here suffers from depression or anxiety or any other mental health issues that effects their daily life. Just tryin to get real for minute.
It helps talking about it even if its with complete strsngers.
I suffered from anxiety from about 2005-2009. I didn't know wtf it was at first, thought I was having heart attacks or something but never went to the hospital until I thought I really was gonna die. They confirmed I was healthy and just stressing out. Towards the end of high school pretty much I got my first anxiety attack on the football field after running, didn't know wtf was happening just that it was some of the scariest shit I've ever experienced. This affected me through my first 2 years of college too, took a year off, read everything about anxiety as I suffered 2-3 attacks a night that lasted for hours on end, no health insurance so I couldn't see a therapist. I would sleep in the day time and have extreme anxiety at night.

I started reading everything and anything about anxiety, I became an expert pretty much during that year off from school. I learned that it was purely mental and one day during a massive anxiety attack which would be my last intense one... I remember telling myself; "This ain't shit, it ain't shit... is this all you got? fuckin' weak ass anxiety" and it tapered off from there on out. I moved out to LA for a year to start school again, this anxiety pretty much took 4 years out of my life and am now making up for it in college. I should be working on my masters but instead only my bachelors. - THE END. I personally know what it feels like man, you got any questions feel free to ask, It's the worst shit and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Depression also happens to run on my mom's side of the family.
 
Oct 31, 2003
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SAN DIEGO
SOUTHEASTSANDIEGO.COM
#4
I suffer from the same. On medication for it..... Anxiety consumed my life for a few years. I'm better at dealing with it now but there's still certain things I won't do because of fear of an attack. Recently it's been excercise and going to the gym that's been impossible. Once I start exerting myself I feel short of breath and start fearing that I can't breath
 
Jan 5, 2006
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#5
I suffer from the same. On medication for it..... Anxiety consumed my life for a few years. I'm better at dealing with it now but there's still certain things I won't do because of fear of an attack. Recently it's been excercise and going to the gym that's been impossible. Once I start exerting myself I feel short of breath and start fearing that I can't breath
I'm in the same situation. I did MMA for a while but had two big panic attacks during training, once during warm ups and another during sparring. I quit for a while. Trying to get back into it and start boxing but it's hard unless the trainer understands. It's just a matter of getting over that bump, once you get past it you don't even realize its a panic attack but rather just hella adrenaline. I read that in many ways it has to do with you shocking your body and overexerting yourself since your body isn't used to that degree of intensity. I think the best thing is to build up to it, start off at your pace and push yourself little by little that's what i'm doing.
 
Apr 25, 2002
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#6
They say that the difference between anxiety and excitement is the control that you have over a situation. If you get in a fight and you're 100% sure you're going to win the same mechanisms that channel your breathing and blood flow are the ones that shut your body down and make it hard to breath and make you drop to the floor if you are entering a fight you are sure to lose. Its a very interesting thing to think about. I've never been diagnosed with any sort of disorder but I think what I have found is you can't have fear and most of what you are concerned about that leads you to anxiety are things that no one else cares about. Your biggest enemy is your own mind. I think taking some time off and relaxing would help a lot, even if its a month. Get some sun, enjoy life. I also know from working with youth that if you want to get rid of your anxiety the first thing you have to do is get off the alcohol and drugs. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing but you need your mind to perform optimally to help you win your battle.
 
Jan 5, 2006
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#8
They say that the difference between anxiety and excitement is the control that you have over a situation. If you get in a fight and you're 100% sure you're going to win the same mechanisms that channel your breathing and blood flow are the ones that shut your body down and make it hard to breath and make you drop to the floor if you are entering a fight you are sure to lose. Its a very interesting thing to think about. I've never been diagnosed with any sort of disorder but I think what I have found is you can't have fear and most of what you are concerned about that leads you to anxiety are things that no one else cares about. Your biggest enemy is your own mind. I think taking some time off and relaxing would help a lot, even if its a month. Get some sun, enjoy life. I also know from working with youth that if you want to get rid of your anxiety the first thing you have to do is get off the alcohol and drugs. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing but you need your mind to perform optimally to help you win your battle.
Trust me its much easier said than done. Anxiety is so hard to overcome. It takes steps to work through it. But you got the right idea with what to do to help overcome it. Like I said tho, i'd never wish that on anyone not even my enemies (if I had any). What helped me was a change of scenery, I moved to a different city, different school. Came back after a year, at times I still feel anxiety but no attacks. I think the key thing for me is that being the super ambitious person I am, I have to be always working on something, I can't just be a lazy ass not doing shit.
 

milkky

The Milk Man
Sep 6, 2010
851
856
93
33
#9
I've been diagnosed and had depression since I was 11. I also have two Seperate PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).. The first and main incident was when I was 1 1/2.. I was brutally beaten by my bio father for throwing up half on the toilet, i went to hospital for weeks with severe trauma, it is my earliest memory in life.. I can still remember it like yesterday.. My faggot ass dad went to jail or prison for it, I never have known him since cuZ he lost all rights and he was already physically abusive to my mom before I was born, during her pregnancy with me and shit... Anyways, that bullshit whether I like it or not has affected me, my mental health, choices, daily life, EVERYTHING since.. I also have diagnosed depression, which at times was classified as bipolar but I think that was wrong, and also dysthymia.. And anxiety. I have taken damn near every major anti depressant, mood stabilizer, and SSRI out there.. Which every kind except one fucked me up worse than I already was with extreme side affects.. I was 230 at age 14.. I am usually 160/170.. But the one I did take with positive affects was called Remeron, but I only took that during the six months or so after my first time kicking dope.. Since getting back on the boy, I seem to be doing "alright" given my circumstances but I would basically say my depression has never left me.. It's situational as far as where my life is at, and it's severity.. Sometimes it's so bad I don't leave the bed, don't eat shower shave etc but I self medicate with drugs so that def affects shit.. Eventually putting me in a tailspin and mindfuck, turned the fuck out, and hating myself and life like no other. I have been in treatment 14 times, the psych ward at the hospital maybe 7/8 times.. Half those in my early teenage years cuz I was on those gay ass meds, the other half as a desperate dope sick heroin addict, looking for a safe place to kick to either switch to suboxone temporarily or to get help expediting the treatment process.. But I've never ever tried to kill myself, not with drugs, not with guns or anything else.. Though ive sat with pistols in my mouth crying during my roughest days.. I had to make those claims in order to be admitted to the hospital... But if anyone else has been ther, you know it's a country club.. There's always crazy bitches there to fuck wit, you get to order 3 meals of your choice, and get a bed n place to stay during the winter.. For as long as you choose the vacation.. Lol... Recently I've been able to break that habit, I haven't been in any type of facility of any kind besides jail n shit for 2 years now, so I consider myself blessed. I finally for once am trying to clean up (house arrest, probation and a 3 year stay of imposition are what I'm currently dealing with right now) I'm consciously able to stop shooting heroin and smoking weed all on my own, without the threats of executing my sentence or forced treatment by my PO... but I found a good woman thats in my life that really cares about me, which has given me a big motivation to hang in there and attempt to really "grow up" and take care of myself, my health and well being, and changing my thoughts n behaviors aka giving up the "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK" attitude I've had my whole life.. Anyways this is just my personal 2 cents. Don't know if it helps you bro but stick in there. Things always get better, (eventually but slowly on their own) but if you are open to trying new things, ideas and are motivated to get better.. I believe you will. Be honest with yourself about your life.. Where your at, how you got there and what works, and doesn't work, for YOU. Don't get caught up in other peoples b.s / hype because only you know what you need to get and feel better. Not everyone's the same I'm sure you know there is no such thing as a magic cure all.. But keep an open mind, research your particular issues, c a mental health professional if needed, talk to family friends people here, etc and keep a positive mind. Look up the book/movie called " The Secret". It explains the Law of Attraction.. Positive Feelings=Positive Thoughts=Positive Actions.. You get what you wish for basically. It's a dope philosophy, I try to incorporate it into my daily life as much as I can. I highly highly reccommend it.
 

BUTCHER 206

FREE BUTCHER206
Aug 22, 2003
12,316
109,200
113
Seattle, WA
#10
I've been diagnosed and had depression since I was 11. I also have two Seperate PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).. The first and main incident was when I was 1 1/2.. I was brutally beaten by my bio father for throwing up half on the toilet, i went to hospital for weeks with severe trauma, it is my earliest memory in life.. I can still remember it like yesterday.. My faggot ass dad went to jail or prison for it, I never have known him since cuZ he lost all rights and he was already physically abusive to my mom before I was born, during her pregnancy with me and shit... Anyways, that bullshit whether I like it or not has affected me, my mental health, choices, daily life, EVERYTHING since.. I also have diagnosed depression, which at times was classified as bipolar but I think that was wrong, and also dysthymia.. And anxiety. I have taken damn near every major anti depressant, mood stabilizer, and SSRI out there.. Which every kind except one fucked me up worse than I already was with extreme side affects.. I was 230 at age 14.. I am usually 160/170.. But the one I did take with positive affects was called Remeron, but I only took that during the six months or so after my first time kicking dope.. Since getting back on the boy, I seem to be doing "alright" given my circumstances but I would basically say my depression has never left me.. It's situational as far as where my life is at, and it's severity.. Sometimes it's so bad I don't leave the bed, don't eat shower shave etc but I self medicate with drugs so that def affects shit.. Eventually putting me in a tailspin and mindfuck, turned the fuck out, and hating myself and life like no other. I have been in treatment 14 times, the psych ward at the hospital maybe 7/8 times.. Half those in my early teenage years cuz I was on those gay ass meds, the other half as a desperate dope sick heroin addict, looking for a safe place to kick to either switch to suboxone temporarily or to get help expediting the treatment process.. But I've never ever tried to kill myself, not with drugs, not with guns or anything else.. Though ive sat with pistols in my mouth crying during my roughest days.. I had to make those claims in order to be admitted to the hospital... But if anyone else has been ther, you know it's a country club.. There's always crazy bitches there to fuck wit, you get to order 3 meals of your choice, and get a bed n place to stay during the winter.. For as long as you choose the vacation.. Lol... Recently I've been able to break that habit, I haven't been in any type of facility of any kind besides jail n shit for 2 years now, so I consider myself blessed. I finally for once am trying to clean up (house arrest, probation and a 3 year stay of imposition are what I'm currently dealing with right now) I'm consciously able to stop shooting heroin and smoking weed all on my own, without the threats of executing my sentence or forced treatment by my PO... but I found a good woman thats in my life that really cares about me, which has given me a big motivation to hang in there and attempt to really "grow up" and take care of myself, my health and well being, and changing my thoughts n behaviors aka giving up the "I DON'T GIVE A FUCK" attitude I've had my whole life.. Anyways this is just my personal 2 cents. Don't know if it helps you bro but stick in there. Things always get better, (eventually but slowly on their own) but if you are open to trying new things, ideas and are motivated to get better.. I believe you will. Be honest with yourself about your life.. Where your at, how you got there and what works, and doesn't work, for YOU. Don't get caught up in other peoples b.s / hype because only you know what you need to get and feel better. Not everyone's the same I'm sure you know there is no such thing as a magic cure all.. But keep an open mind, research your particular issues, c a mental health professional if needed, talk to family friends people here, etc and keep a positive mind. Look up the book/movie called " The Secret". It explains the Law of Attraction.. Positive Feelings=Positive Thoughts=Positive Actions.. You get what you wish for basically. It's a dope philosophy, I try to incorporate it into my daily life as much as I can. I highly highly reccommend it.
Lol
 
May 7, 2013
493
629
93
Michigan
#13
I'm back on the same old shit, I'm surprised I'm even back on here posting. I got no motivation do to anything. All I do is go to work at midnight, come home at 8am, fucking sit around watching tv til I pass out. Then do the same thing every single day. For some reason I can't get myself to do shit I actually enjoy doing, I ain't been fucking with bitches in months, don't play video games anymore, I can barely get motivated enough to log on to a fuckin internet forum and post. I'd feel so much better if I had a prescription of xanax or klonopin.